Whit A Bit Of Lock
by gangsterdorothy
Summary: *For The Love Of Jasper One Shot Contest Entry* Doc Whitlock and Easy E are hosts of a late night radio love/life advice show. It's a typical night until they get a call from a woman in a prickly situation.


"**For the Love of Jasper" One-Shot Contest **

**Title: Whit A Bit of Lock**

**Pen name: gangsterdorothy**

**Existing work: N/A**

**Primary Players: Jasper, Alice and Emmett**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of this.**

**To see other entries in the "For the Love of Jasper" contest, please visit the C2:  
www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/For_the_Love_of_Jasper_Contest/72564/**

A/N: Just looking to bring some fun for Jasper. I take some liberties here with how a radio station works and some other stuff, but go with it.

Thanks to bublichka for the beta work. She gives it to me straight.

Some jumping of POV's, but I don't think it's too jarring.

* * *

_This show is meant for an adult audience…_

"_I'm concerned about my penis size…"_

"_Does a clit piercing make sex more pleasurable?"_

"_She wants to get a cat together….Help!"_

**JPOV**

The pre-recorded introduction played once more for the show. With my head dipped low, I went into doctor radio host mode.

The show was my baby. Born out of the over consumption of whiskey, Emmett and I came up with the winning concept. The 'all-around American red blooded male in the form of Emmett, accompanied by the suit and tie man aspiring to be a doctor…also known as me.

We were a poor-man's _Loveline_, but people liked it that way. We were attainable and gave advice that fit to their level. There were no celebrity guests because every caller was… special in their own way.

The catchy, mysterious bass and hi-hat crescendoed in my ears as I looked to my sidekick, or as he's known to the listening world, Easy E. And as usual, he was chomping on a late dinner. His bottle of orange soda was teetering far too close to the edge of our console; I was convinced that his aloofness was an act sometimes, but for some strange reason, the audience connected with it. It's a shtick that works.

Hearing the final few beats of the intro, I met our producer Edward's eyes through the glass from his own booth.

Showtime. The flashing of the "On Air" sign alerted us. "And five, four, three…" Edward showed us the last two numbers, as the blinking steadied.

Emmett made no move to say our names and the name of the show. He was staring at his nails, his lips pursed, eyebrow lifted and eyes in a far off daze.

Dead air. Not something you can have in the radio world. Ever.

_Wake up! We're not being paid to dick around, asshole._

Covering the mic to address the distracted Neanderthal, through clenched teeth I hissed out, "E, say our names!"

He snapped out of it, his booming voice addressed the listeners, "Hello Whitlockians to another edition of 'Whit A Little Lock.' Your resident doctor and life guru, Dr. Jasper Whitlock, is here to pick your brain and fix those pesky problem-os, while I, Easy E, attempt to give my own brand of suggestions. So Jaspy what--oh crap." _Thank God he didn't curse._ "I spilled orange soda all over my shorts. Rosie is gonna kill me!"

_Pay back, fucker._ "And your mother." The man still lived with her. Generally, this means an innumerable amount of things wrong with him; he's too attached to his mom, he can't let things go or to the extreme of an Oedipus complex. There's a time to move out and when you're Emmett's age, that kind of thing needed to happen long ago.

Emmett addresses Edward through the mic, "Yo Cullen, can I get some paper towels?" Emmett clearly distracted by the orange stain, directs his divided attention to me, "Don't be dissin' me about livin' at home. Cullen still does…right, Cullen?"

Edward usually chimed in once in a while, usually to try to pacify things or to move a topic along that was dragging down the show. "No comment," was his reply this time. _Smart man._

A slack jawed Emmett said, "Now that's not right man. Psh, whatever." We joke around with him on air and make him out to be nothing but a big lug, but he was alright with it.

I realized we were spending way too much time on Emmett's stained cargo shorts and less on the people. Smoothing it over and bringing it back to them I said, "For those at home or in your car still taking residence under their parental's roofs, do not feel humiliated. Times are tough and living on your own isn't what it used to be. But when you're our friend Easy E here, who makes a respectable amount of money, has a girlfriend, and never needs to worry about where his next meal comes from, then it's time to flee the coop and figure out where to put that pool table in your brand new apartment."

The call interface lit up and our first call was coming to us on line eight. "Josh, you still live with your parents? And I won't give you a hard time like the Doc will."

Josh nervously chuckled, all the jitters of being on air in front of thousands of people. "Hey guys! Love the show. Yes, I do live at home, but only because I need to save up money to buy a ring for my girl."

"See! There that's my reason, Jaspy. That's why I'm living at home. Rosie needs a ring that suits her shining glowing personality and beauty."

Edward played part of "Single Ladies", specifically 'if you like it than you should've put a ring on it'.

"Josh, for the record, Easy E and Rosalie have personally told me that they never plan to set their relationship in any kind of stone, figuratively or monetarily."

"Doc, come on! Alright fine, what about you? You lived at home 'til you were like twenty seven."

"I was in medical school. Any medical students out there want to back me up on that?"

Edward gave us a signal to wrap up the topic and head to our next caller.

"But, in all honesty, E here has big plans to leave home. As long as it's some time before he's thirty."

"At least I live in my own place in the basement."

That's not much better, but it's a way to close this discussion. "There is that."

Emmett's finger pressed down on the button for us to access the next caller. "Is this the lovely Tammy we're talking to?" obviously doing his best to charm the panties off of her. Luckily, Rosalie has him whipped and this is all for show.

"Hello, Dr. Whitlock and Easy E." Tammy purred out.

Cataloging her voice for later, it'll probably be the only thing that will get me off tonight. Ironically, being an early thirty-something man and host of a love advice show did me nothing in the romance department. Spending every weekend late night in the studio doesn't provide much date time. Women may say they don't mind going on a lunch date during the week, but even I would think that was a sign of 'nah, I'm not really interested in you'.

"Tammy, what's going on with you tonight?" I addressed in a calm voice that many have told me had an internal effect on them, easing their worries of revealing personal information over the airwaves.

"Well, my roommate is not here right now and I'm thinking about inviting my booty call over." The sex kitten act is in full swing, as her voice hits a low octave.

And Emmett doesn't mind encouraging it one bit. "Nice!" Emmett spews out whatever he wants. He doesn't mind being crass and letting his penis talk.

My part is to give actual pieces of intellectual nuggets. "Is there a reason you are talking to us and not calling up this man?"

"Who says it's a man…"

"Dammmmnnnn!" Emmett bit his fist, fighting back some sort of stereotypical male wolf whistle.

Edward on the other hand, cued up and played the sound of two women groaning together, then, he incessantly played the sound of Ross from 'Friends' saying 'lesbinins' over and over again.

Tammy giggled. Thank God for that; some people have sticks up their asses and frankly, I don't feel like giving out advice on how to pull it out.

"So Tammy, what is your question?" Someone had to man the ship that was heading toward Ultimate Male Fantasy Island.

"Well…I found out the girl is my roommate's sister. And she doesn't know that she's a lesbian."

"Tammy, just go over to the booty girl's place instead if you're worried about gettin' caught." _Emmett, always stating the obvious._

"I wish I could but, um…she lives at her parent's house. I'm not comfortable with that."

People think they're being subtle with their feelings when they talk on the radio. I may not have the luxury of watching their body language, but their cadences and hidden inclinations might as well have their issues written in the sky.

"Does her family not approve of her sexual preference?" Emmett continued to pry further.

"I don't think so. She's told me they've voiced their disapproval of certain lifestyles, but never anything specific."

This wasn't a huge head scratcher. "Tammy, I think the solution is simple. Either you put it off for the night; your libido isn't going anywhere. Or you take a chance in your roommate finding out. Is the sister more open-minded?"

"Just a tad. I think she has an inkling about her being a lesbian. She said her sister had found magazines and pictures in her room once."

"Tammy, I'm going to be frank with you. Since this is just a strictly sex situation, I don't think this much investing should occur with parents and what they think. This makes me think that you have genuine feelings for her."

"Oh, no. I'm just being a concerned friend. Eh, whatever I guess we can just go f*** in the shower---" The five second delay saved us quite a few thousand dollars right there.

"Whoa! Tammy watch the mouth, babe." Emmett warned her; I know he's itching to get the chance to just let loose and curse himself.

Her girlish laugh apologized for her dirty mouth. _I need a dirty mouthed girl right about now._

The conclusion was made that Tammy should just go for a good shower fuck. Who knows? I never know if my advice went in one ear and out the other. What do I know about lesbian sex, other than the fact that it would be the best event to have front row seats to?

We went through the motions and all the typical calls came in regarding circumcision, how long is too long to wait for him to call and even a request for Emmett to serenade a lady with his Barry White voice.

"Yay baby…you know I'm never gonna give you up. I'm never ever gonna stop…"

"Thanks, Easy E." The girl gave him a loud pucker into her phone.

"You're welcome, babe." Leaving his impersonation behind, Emmett went for the next caller. "Let's see who's up to bat." He pushes for button four. "You're on."

"Hi my name is Alice…" She whispered, sounding like a sad little girl. "...and I need help."

"What's the matter, sugar?" Emmett and I struggled to hear her strangled whisper.

"I'm stuck in my apartment…and…I can hear him." A distant, muffled moan was heard at the end of her sentence.

"You can hear him? What does that mean?"

"I'm in our closet…and I can hear my boyfriend with another woman." Her words were covered in a teary whisper, a tiny sniffle hitting a nerve with me.

**//....................\\**

**APOV**

_Douchebag, son of a bitch asshole!_

How dare he cheat on me? And with Lauren no less. That girl always had a raging case of herpes.

Too bad my precognition skills never told me when a relationship was heading south. I guess its like when you make wishes on a genie bottle, when you can't wish for someone to love you. I can't see whether the person I love will do anything to hurt me.

I had just come home from a long day of work; being a successful office manager was hard work. People constantly passed the buck to me when there was situation they couldn't handle, or more often than not, didn't want to deal with. And I myself didn't want anything to do with these problems either.

James sat on his behind all day working really hard too…at flipping from channel to channel while I brought home the bacon, figuratively and literally. And I'm a vegetarian, damn it!

Walking into my apartment, I yelled out James' name. He didn't have a car, so he either took public transportation or bummed rides off his friends.

There was no answer back to me. I assumed he was out.

In my room, I kicked off my shoes and took off my pantyhose. Looking to hang up my suit jacket for the night, I pushed my accordion closet doors open and extended my hand for a hanger. Oh how I wished for a walk-in closet as big as anything I've seen on MTV _Cribs_. I wouldn't have to constantly push things to the side and squish everything in it.

That's when I heard a laugh. A girly laugh. Followed by James' deep, devlish chuckle.

Did the cheapskate not see my car out there? Maybe he was allergic to the fucking things and ignored them when he saw one.

My bedroom door was still open, as I witnessed James and Lauren stumbling backwards.

I couldn't tear my eyes away as they fell onto the bed. _Our_ bed.

I was speechless and every limb in my body wouldn't function. Feigning shock and pushing back angry tears, my back found purchase with my hanging clothes in the closet. Reaching for the doors I pulled them closed, part curious what was about to happen.

And then, I realized I had my cell in the pocket of my jacket. Pulling it out, I dialed James' number. I was intrigued at what he would say, what lie he would tell me.

His Metallica ringtone went off loud. Peeking through the slits in the door, I watched as he continued his make out session with Lauren. They had progressed to groping boobs and bulges.

His voice encouraged me to 'leave a message after the beep, my sexy peeps.'

I hung up as I figured out what to do.

Some advice would be great. And typically, I would be in my car right now listening to Whit A Bit of Lock. Dr. Jasper Whitlock and Easy E made my rides home so much better.

And not just for the comedic genius or great guidance.

Curiosity got the best of me one day and I took advantage of the internet at work to check out what those two boys looked like. Clicking around on their website, I finally found their pictures. Easy E had the boyish grin and dimples that could melt any woman's heart. But Dr. Jasper Whitlock…no one held a candle to him.

Not only was he blonde, a major weakness of mine, but he had the most intense blue eyes I'd ever looked into. The piercing stare from the photo affected every part of my body. They were inviting, intelligent…intimate.

I may have printed out the photo and memorized his features. His cheekbones were chiseled yet curved, the delicate imperfection of his nose ached for my fingers to run over it. The mess of straw colored hair gently hit his eyebrow.

I may have also imagined his face while having sex with James.

My hand trembled with anger and hurt as I pressed 'speed dial 4' to call the show.

I explained my situation to producer Edward and was put on hold. They were wrapping up Easy E's Barry White impersonation as I told my tale of what was going on.

"He's here with her...on our bed."

"What base are they on?" Easy E asked and I was about to answer, but Dr. Whitlock interrupted.

"Alice, there is no need for us to know that. You're in a difficult situation and we're not going to make it any more so for you."

"Thanks." His declaration sent an honest to God calming effect through me.

"Now, tell me Alice. How long have you and…"

"James."

"James. How long have you two been together?"

"We've been on and off for about three years now."

"Is there a reason for that?"

I explained to him that James has had a difficult time finding a job and has had to live at home for a little while.

"See, Doc. Someone else who lives at home." Easy E was defending himself, obviously from a conversation that happened.

"But, it's like comparing apples and oranges. Continue, Alice."

"He's also been in and out of rehab and I know if I leave him he'll be devastated."

"Hmmm…" Jasper's thoughtful hum resonated in my ear. "What was he in for drugs? Alcohol?"

"Umm…" This was going to be embarrassing. "…he's a sex addict. Was or is. I nev---

There was a brief silence. My nerves were jumpy as I heard James and Lauren moaning and groaning. Through the slits, James and Lauren were nowhere to be seen.

"What's goin' on, Ali Cat?" Easy E sounded impatient, like a kid waiting for the good part of a movie to happen.

"I don't know. They aren't on the bed anymore. Maybe they---" The doors in front of rocked rhythmically and the light that had seeped into my space was partially blocked off.

"Oh my God!" I whispered loudly. "They are up against the closet door. My closet door!" My eyes wide with the possibility of getting caught, my heart ached from being so close to the action.

"Alice, tell me more about you."

**//....................\\**

**JPOV**

Unlike lesbian sex, I knew what it was like witnessing your loved one cheating on you.

Maria De La Luna., the one woman who broke my heart and left me a mess. She was a free spirit who lived like the changing tides. Her code was 'live like your were dying' and it was what charmed me to her in the first place. After all, what's more straight and narrow than becoming a doctor? A little excitement in life was more than necessary.

She did every single crazy, whacky thing out there. Often times, they ended with her having less money and crawling back to me to help her get through it. Not just for the cash, but for the comfort of my bed.

And I'd forgiven her time and time again when it all came back to me. I thought I would've been able to forgive her for anything she'd ever do. Except when you find your brother and your girlfriend in a compromising position, surely you could see how impossible that would be to forgive and forget.

"Alice, what do you do for a living?" Having people talk about the familiar always calmed their nerves and take their minds off of the situation at hand.

"I'm an office manager at a newspaper."

"How long have you been working there?"

"Six years."

"How did you and James meet?"

"I met him when he was working in the mail room. I helped hire him because he sounded so genuine and completely at a loss. He's always had a tough time keeping a job."

_Just like Maria._ "I see." I was very drawn to the similarities that were popping up between us. I was calculating how much of my own personal experience I should put out there. There were going to be thousands upon thousands of people who would know everything.

A loud bang came from Alice's end. "Great Odin's Raven, they are really going at it!"

_Did she just quote Anchorman?_ I think our Alike-O-Meter was going off the charts!

"Poke him in the ass with something!" Emmett suggested.

"No, no." I scolded, glaring at him. "Alice, how long have they been in the room?"

"Uh, I want to say about ten minutes. But James has been known to last a long time, so I don't know when I'm getting out of here."

I was confident enough to set aside my own performance level to ask her, "How long?"

"Oh umm…" I could feel her blush in her voice. "…hours."

"Tantric sex?" I was doing my best to remain professional, but the thought of it was making it harder and harder. Bowing my head, my eyes met my feet as I stayed in my role as advice giver.

"Yes. He's into all kinds of sexual…experimentations." She sounded like she had no problem trying them out either.

Going for a more innocent line of approach I asked, "Alice, what do you look like?"

I heard her breathe into the phone before she said, "Do you want to know what I'm wearing too?" Alice's flirtatious voice forced me to swallow heavy.

_She_ was flirting.

"One thing at a time, darlin'." _Darlin'? I haven't called anyone darlin' in years._

"To answer your previous question, I am just under five feet tall with short black hair and grey eyes."

_Why did the image of this tiny woman with wild short hair make my knees weak, while sitting?_

"Alice, update us on the sitch. Is your boy licking the puppies or is she playing with the fellas?"

Emmett was getting on my last nerve. "E, I swear to God."

"Dr. Whitlock, it's okay. They are…" We waited as she checked it out. "…oh my. I didn't want to see that…" Alice was absolutely miserable.

"I know it's hard, Alice. Believe me, but stay with us and we'll help you through this, okay?"

Her voice cracked. "Okay."

"Let's take a few calls." While Alice was on the line, Emmett pressed for another person to come on along with her. "Yvonne, you have some advice for our Alice."

"Hi guys. Yes, I do. Sweetie, you need to dump his ass once you get yours out of that closet. I think you should've just stormed out of it and caught him and her butt naked, but that's just me."

Ah, one of the more brass-balled women that calls up our show regularly. "While that would be quite the sight, it would do more harm than good. There is no easy way to deal with a cheating spouse, but the element of surprise is not one of them."

"One time, we had this friend of ours, Nathan. Jasper you remember right? No it was Edward…" He scratched at his recently cut shorn brown hair. "Anyway, he had his nuts taped to his stomach for boom-booming with the next door neighbor. We called him Nuthan forever."

Ever the rambler with no conclusion in sight, I had to draw one for him. "What's the moral of that story, E?"

Emmett furrowed his eyebrows at me. "Don't tape a guy's nuts to his skin."

"Thank you, Yvonne. It's always nice to hear from you." My finger found another button for the next caller. _Fuck, it's Tom._ Another regular who didn't know when to quit calling us up; we really need to block his calls from getting through to the station. Reluctantly, I asked "Hey Tom, what's your advice for Alice?"

"Alice? You sound like a sophisticated lady who needs a man who would treat you the way you should be treated." _A real lothario. _

"Thank you, Tom." Alice offered.

Tom didn't even beat around the bush. "You sound like a sexy woman. Ditch the loser and come hang with me." My hope was that Alice was not going to fall for that.

"Tom, are you forgetting that I am stuck in a closet?" Alice countered back, which made me giddier than it should have.

Covering the mic with my hand, I chuckled quietly, earning curious glances from Edward and Emmett.

Her twinkly laugh made me chuckle again. _Did I really just use the word twinkly? _

"But thank you, Tom for the offer. If I ever need help with my plumbing, I'll be sure to call you." _Wait, is she a fan of the show? That's from almost three years ago. _

"Alice, I assure you my plumbing is fine now."

Tom and his unfortunate call about bowel movements were sure to come back and bite him in the ass. I was happy it was happening right now. I think he might've been high when he mentioned that he 'saw Jesus in my poo. It's all crazy and stuff'.

"Well, Tom thanks for the advice. Hope you have a nice life with your refurbished plumbing issues."

"Bye, Tom." Gladly ending the call, I wanted more time to talk to Alice myself.

But Edward was signaling that we needed to go on commercial break.

During those five minutes of commercial, I decided to do something bold. "Okay, Alice? I know this may sound a little off base, but could you take a picture of yourself and send it to our email address?"

Silence. Wide eyed glares came from the two men in the vicinity.

_Oh God, I crossed the line. I creeped her out._

"Sure." She cheerily replied.

"I meant send us a picture of your closet or where you are looking from in there. So we can see what we are dealing with. If you're in the picture too, that's…umm…alright too. Or not."

In no time, we pulled up the picture of Alice. She was the most feisty, beautiful creature I had ever seen. Her grey eyes were a little bloodshot, the rims of her eyes red from the crying. I yearned to twirl the tiny tendrils of her black hair between my fingers. I swallowed hard as the angle of the picture revealed a half-unbuttoned shirt, the swells of her breasts in full view.

"Alice, you are a looker. Damn, girl!" Emmett spoke what I couldn't speak; the tame version of what I wanted to say.

She laughed once more. "Thanks. I've thought about growing my hair out though."

"Short hair is all the rage now. I wouldn't change a thing." _Did I just say that? You don't read fashion magazines or watch those celebrity shows._

I looked to Edward and Emmett, who were about ready to bust a gut at my last comment.

"Thank you, Jasper. I'm a big fan of your hair too."

"Thank you, Alice." _Was it weird to be happy that she knew what my hair looked like?_

"This is your view from inside of the closet?" Emmett was now the one getting us back on track.

"Yes. And as you can see in the corner, there is a big dark spot. That's Lauren's ass."

I didn't realize how close she was to the action. If I she didn't have my full sympathies before, she completely had them now.

"Alice, is there--"

"Okay we're going back in ten seconds." Edward warned us.

It was probably best to save what I was going to say on air anyway.

Emmett brought us back on and bringing our listeners up to speed. "Welcome back, Whitlockians. If you just turned in, we have our dear Alice on the phone with us. She is stuck in a closet as her boyfriend is cheating on her. She was nice enough to send us a picture of what her situation looked like."

"Alice, what's going on at the moment?" I ached to get her away from the toxicity of what was occurring.

"They've moved away from the door and now…they're up against the window. Hmmm…"

"What's up, Alice?"

"I think I could make my escape."

"Alice, I'm not sure about that." I'll admit, I was being a little selfish since I wanted to keep her on the phone. But, seeing more of this definitely wasn't good for her psyche.

There was silence once more. _Did she go yet?_ "Alice? Alice, are you still there?" All three of us were on the edge of our seats. She had made her declaration of leaving the closet and now there was dead silence.

There was some muffled talking in the background as we waited on pins and needles for Alice to tell us what she was doing.

A laugh and a loud shriek of absolute horror.

It sounded like Alice was saying something, but it sounded like the phone was muffled.

Then a slamming door echoed in my ears. Faint, distant words were being spoken, but I couldn't make them out.

"This is riveting entertainment. Someone get me super sonar hearing." Emmett was ADDing out on me.

"I think she'll come back." It sounded like there had been a small scuffle, which required two hands and an undistracted Alice.

"Should we take another call, Edward?" Emmett inquired.

I did my best to remain indifferent on the surface. "No, she'll come back. Alice!", I yelled out to her.

"I think we should." Edward addressed us.

"Hey guys, I'm back!" Alice sounded upset and happy all at once.

"Alice, what happened?"

**//....................\\**

**APOV**

I told them I was getting my ass out of that cramped, unhappy space. Refusing to second guess myself, I flung the doors open.

James and Lauren were both stark naked against the window. And that's when I knew it was okay to laugh. Right there on Lauren's ass was a tattoo of Porky Pig. The image of this bony looking girl with the image of a fat pig on it just did it for me.

The two of them turned to me while I had laughing tears in my eyes.

Lauren screamed when she saw me, while James just stood there dumbfounded.

Putting on my best Porky stutter, "Th-th-th that's all folks."

Lauren's wailing yell and her nude behind ran out of the bedroom, followed by James.

"You forgot your pants, Porky. Oh wait, he doesn't wear any." Hysterical tears trailed down my face, endless laughter leaving me breathless.

Then, I realized that James didn't even stop once to look at me. Not even to address my presence or say a word to me. Not an 'I'm sorry' or to yell at me. He went after her instead.

In the doorway of my bedroom, I slid down to the floor, my back resting against the wood.

All was quiet in the apartment now as James and Lauren made a hasty exit.

I heard my name being called. It was a muted yell, struggling to reach me.

It was Jasper. _He_ was calling my name, asking for me.

Reaching for my cell phone that had fallen to the floor, I pressed it to my ear. I recanted to them what took place moments before.

Both of them laughed along with me at the absurdity of it, but then another wave of gloom swept over me.

"Alice, how are you feeling right now?" Jasper soothed me.

"I feel…like a rollercoaster of emotions. I'm laughing, crying, smiling and frowning. All of it at once." I sniveled away some snot that was leaving my nose.

"That is perfectly normal. When we see our spouses instigating in familiar acts with others than ourselves, it's not uncommon to be confused, angry, jealous, hurt, and even find humor in it all. It's your minds way of dealing with the shock."

"I don't know why I'm so surprised. I really shouldn't have been."

"People want to believe that those around them can change. It's in our innate nature to wish for the best things for our loved ones. You had hoped that James would get better and that is nothing to be ashamed about."

"Jasper?"

"Yes, Alice?"

"Thank you."

"It's my job. The pleasure is all mine." Jasper sighed out. "Take a deep breath, Alice. You definitely need one."

I did what I was told, as I heard Jasper speak again. "Alice, hang on the line. Okay?"

"Whitlockians we're gonna take a break and be back in a flash." Easy E signed them off.

Immediately after that, Jasper said. "Alice, are you still there?"

"I am. Thank you so much, Dr. Whitlock."

"Please, call me Jasper."

"Okay, Jasper."

"Alice, I'd like you to call me back sometime soon. Let me know how you're doing. I mean us. Let us know what's going on. Does that sound alright to you?"

"Yes, that sounds fantastic."

"Promise me you'll do that?"

"I promise on Porky Pig's ass that I will call you back."

Jasper laughed. "Good."

"Wait!" I didn't want to let him hang up, as I searched my brain to tell him something.

"Yes?"

"Um…I don't know." I laughed as I couldn't think of anything to say.

"Listen…I have to get back on the air. Call me when the show is over?"

"Yes! I mean…yeah, that sounds great."

"Okay talk to you then, darlin'."

* * *

A/N: Radiosper. Anyone like it? Let me know.

Yes, I threw in some darlin's. *massive audience eye roll*

I don't have any plans to continue this, so if it feels a lil open ended, I'm sorry. But hey, if there are enough requests for more, I would consider it.


End file.
